my perfect paris.

08h48
get up just before they stop serving breakfast and eat whatever is left. my cheap hotel in the XIe offers a cup of coffee, half baguette and samples of butter for an overpriced-but-still-cheaper-than-outside amount of money

09h32
use the metro to go to gallieni bus terminal station. despite the indigent crowds travelling to some place you would rather not mention, there are free magazines and newspapers next to the departing buses

09h58
get back on the metro and leave in any station along line 3. main options are:
‒ père lachaise if you're in the mood for grave-spotting. anyway, be aware that you'll have to elbow your way through the tourist crowds taking pictures of graves of people they probably never heard about before entering this sumptuous macabre place.

‒ go to parmentier and don't even look further down the street. leave the metro, look left and you have the perfect spot to gaze at the expensive terrace while sipping your decently-priced cup of coffee. once you're here, you might want to notice the decaying tackiness of this place with walls full of old vinyl discs and old ladies with far more make up than the whole neighbourhood together.

‒ place de la république is a nice place to walk around, particularly out of it. follow rue du faubourg du temple till canal saint-martin and walk along its shore or boulevard saint martin till you find two majestic triumphal arches.

‒ let yourself go till opéra just to ignore the sumptuosity of this old opera building as you turn to walk down rue de la paix. here you'll feel ignored by the shop windows displaying prices that you thought were only allowed to cars and houses put on dresses and watches. run down the street, wave bye-bye to the ritz, enter the jardin the tuilleries, find your own nude statue and hug it till it becomes warm.

‒ gare saint-lazare. where the hell did monet see this?


13h00
browse cafeterias in town while the waiters make sure you won’t not sit on any: they're serving lunch. eventually, you'll find a decent kebab or panini or crêpes and wander thirsty towards the river. time to go the le rive gauche.

14h30
le flore or les deux magots? tough choice, huh! choice criteria must include: i) where are waiters more rude?; ii) where do i get more ripped off?; iii) which one did sartre actually prefer? if you still want a beer, find a monop (supermarket) and get a cold one. wave it to tourists when you pass by the terraces.

16h00
get a bit serious and check the musée rodin. trust me on this one, stay in the gardens, you’ll appreciate the sculpture in their natural habitat.

18h00
gaïté – montparnasse. hang around, hang around, hang around.

21h00
walk down rue de rennes and go straight to rue de la bactérie. enjoy your parisian greek kebab and wash it down with a tunisian pastry. this is the most typical parisian street where you can find the original french kebab, pizza, gyros and even asian delis.

23h46 return to the hotel and mail pictures of everything that seems worth to make your friends and acquaintances back home envious.

(more pics at http://picasaweb.google.com/tiago.ratinho)